I began talking to this bartender everyone called Manny. He was a German national that had been cleared to work on the base. I had learned that he had worked there for several years. Anyone who was not military had to undergo a background check in order to work on the base. This was due to the work that was done there, no one was permitted on or off the base either without being waved on and off by the guards, and this meant showing ID cards. If you did not have an ID card you had to register with the MP’s the station by the front gate. Security was a big concern for us, it had to be, it paid to be careful, but maybe careful was not enough.
Manny spoke English very well, he explained he learned it all from working at the bar; “bar English” he called it. Words and phrases he had picked up from the soldiers, airmen and sailors who had passed through the doors of the club over the many years. Funny though in some aspects his English was better than mine and it was my native tongue. I think perhaps this was because he knew all of the slang words and phrases and I had been sheltered from a lot of this in my youth, not knowing what a lot of things meant or even heard of things until I had joined the Army. I guess that was a drawback from living in a small town, or perhaps it was no drawback at all and was a blessing I just refused to see at the time.
As drinks and conversations began to flow freely I somehow found the nerve to ask Manny if he would consider going out with my friend. He was not interested to say the least, as he remarked “that short shit? The only thing she would be good for is sitting a beer on the top of her head.” I could not hurt my friends feelings as the comment was rude and uncalled for, but I thought he must have been joking. No one could really be that hurtful of another person, or could they? I walked away and back to my group of friends and just said he was busy for the night and perhaps some other time. I just am not the type of person to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. We closed the club down that night as we had so many others and called for a cab to take us to town. It was the normal routine of hitting the clubs in town until they too closed and then back to base we came to party at someone’s room until we could not stand up or passed out.
The cab dropped us at the front gate and we began our trek back to our barracks, our base was not very big so our journey was not a large one, although with alcohol in our system a few feet seemed like miles. As we crossed the bridge I could see the parking lot of the club and there were still cars there, not at all unusual since, many times people were unable to drive home after a night out, but tonight there was something a bit off that I just could not place. As we walked closer I could see a figure leaning against one of the cars. A few moments later I heard my name being called in a voice that I recognized but was still a bit foreign to me.
Manny had just got off work from the bar. It had been a late night of cleaning and restocking so he was later than usual leaving. We began talking about our precious conversation regarding my friend and I explained to him that she was crazy about him and would do anything to go out with him. I was trying hard to sell her to him, I would have done nearly anything to have convinced him to go out with her. Just then he told me that if it meant that much to me for him to go out with her he would agree if I would take a ride through the country with him. I was game, after all it was 4 am and I was intoxicated, I did not see what it would hurt.
We began our ride through the base gate and through the small town on Meitraching. I had not been to many places off base, other than to clubs and down town shopping so I welcomed the chance to see the country especially through the eyes of someone who had lived there all of their life. Germany was a beautiful country and especially Bavaria, where we were; the foothills of the Alps, the snow covered mountain tops; I cannot recall a more beautiful scene in my life.
We ended our ride in the small town of Tuntenhausen, which is just a few kilometers from the base. I quickly learned this is where he lived; in a small apartment above his parents. This had not been the plan, or not the plan I was aware of, but I did not argue; I was in no shape to argue. We went in to the studio apartment, it was small with the kitchen and living area combined a small bath and a bedroom. After talking for a few, we went to the bedroom. I remember I needed to lie down. My head was spinning, it was late, and I had to work tomorrow afternoon and I was off base with no way back but this man.
I am human, and with the consumption of alcohol I become a person I am not so proud of. I begin letting go of myself and exposing my needs and my desires, and this night was no different. I seemed to have forgotten about Sgt Airforce and about my friend, and I let myself go. I will not say I made love to this man, because I did not know him. He was a man I know of because he worked on the base. He was a man I was trying to fix up with a friend of mine. He was a man that I had just slept with while I had feelings for someone else.
About Me
- Luvmyboyz
- Rushville, OH, United States
- I am the mother of 3 amazing boys. At the age of 21 I began one of the hardest battles I have ever had to endure and took on not only the father of my oldest son, but also the Federal Court system and the Hague convention in a case that would set international precedent and change my life forever. At the age of 30 I would learn to live life all over again when my youngest child was diagnosed with Aspergers, an autism spectrum disorder.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friends ( chapter 2)
Friends were a necessity when so far away from home. They were family when family was only there via letters and phone calls. They became the brothers and sisters we could not longer fight and argue with, the best friends we had grown up with, but could no longer confide in and the parents we needed to help rationalize difficult situations and to try and help keep our heads on straight and give us some sense of sanity. They also were the ones who seemed to get us into everything we had never experienced before and introduced us to new cultures, new religions, and new ways of doing old things differently. My friends were the best. I had been with most of them since my training in Florida and since that lasted nearly a year I felt that I knew most of them rather well. We had been through a lot together already and had grown close. In a year we probably knew more about each other than some of us knew about ourselves; scary perhaps, but truthful. We all did not work the same shift so when we could get time to get together we took advantage of the situation. With any of these situations and with any twenty year old drinking seemed to be the main focal point of our night. We usually began at the base club. At the club everyone met up, danced, threw darts for a bit, played some pool and drank at relatively low prices until the club closed around 2 am. It was a great time. I honestly do not remember anyone that walked through the doors not having fun or meeting a stranger. Everyone knew everyone, as well as the bartenders. The bartenders also knew what you wanted to drink after just visiting the bar a couple of times. They usually had your drink waiting for you before you could even get your order out of your mouth. Service we could depend on, and that we did; all too often. After closing down the base club more times than I care to admit and count, we walked to the base gate, since cabs were not permitted on our base; for security concerns, and caught a taxi to downtown Bad Aibling or Rosenheim. Bad Aibling was the closer of the towns, but also smaller, but the clubs were open until 4 or 5 am and there was never a dull moment. There were clubs which offered techno, disco, pop and hard rock. So whatever your taste in music you were sure to find something to suit your taste, although by the time 2 am rolled around, music was not really what was on our mind and are main concern was the fact that they served alcohol. The serving of us and the fact we were still considered underage according to the laws of the U.S. was not an issue, because if you know anything about Germany you know there is no drinking age and you can be served beer at McDonalds. I will never forget walking into Mickey D’s and thinking how lucky are these kids to get a beer with their happy meal. Although I am not sure anyone ever ordered it that way.
We normally bar hopped when we went “downtown.” Starting at one club, in which we would drink, dance, and mingle amongst the locals then moving onto the next one to do the same. I can remember dancing on stages, sliding down poles, and pretending to speak and understand a language in which I had no idea of. We would order drinks in glasses which were trimmed in gold just so we could start a collection of various beer glasses back at the barracks, so finding ways of sneaking them out became a new game for the night. Soon big purses were brought out for the night or pants with large pockets were worn and used as transportation devices.
Now one would think after starting this ritual of drinking and dancing at 4 pm and it being 5 am that we would be ready to collapse and call it a night, or morning, but as the clubs closed we began to devise ways of continuing our camaraderie. So on the ride back to the base we would tally up who had what liquor in their rooms and who had the largest room and where the party would be held. It would be in the largest room. Here we would drink and party until the booze was gone. This ritualbecame a common occurrence;, on shift rotations, and days off you could find any number of people going through the same thing, no one really gave it a second thought or glance or considered it odd or unusual behavior. Were we alcoholics and being abusive? We did not think so; no one had ever addressed it or brought it to our attention. We always made it to work, to formation and our duties were always performed. We just liked to have fun. We were all single, serving our country and had no one else to account for or to answer to(at least not yet). What harm were we doing?
Even though he had become my work supervisor SGT Air-force and I had continued to steal moments together when we could. I thoroughly enjoyed his company and to my knowledge he did mine as well. I had a neighbor in the barracks who I had befriended as she was from my home state of Ohio. It always gave people a bond when they found someone who was from “back home.” It did not matter if you were from hundreds of miles away in the same state you were still from “back home” and you immediately bonded. She and I had become close upon my arrival in December of '87 and our friendship continued to grow even though we ended up on different shifts. We did occasionally end up with a day or two off together and used it to our full advantage which usually meant shopping then going out and hitting the clubs. She liked to go to the club on base most of the time as she had a crush on one of the bartenders there. His name was Manny. He was a German who has been cleared to work on the base and had been given a work permit and had been there about 6-7 years. His English was very well as he had picked up bar talk and learned to converse with his customers.
On one of our weekends at the club my friend from Ohio wanted me to ask Manny out for her. She had this illusion that he had been giving me the “eye” and that was a sign that he would be more accommodating to tell me yes for her. I did not agree with her reasoning, but after a few fuzzy navels with vodka I was in no position to argue or to disagree with her. I am sure I would have been in agreement with nearly anything at that moment.
We normally bar hopped when we went “downtown.” Starting at one club, in which we would drink, dance, and mingle amongst the locals then moving onto the next one to do the same. I can remember dancing on stages, sliding down poles, and pretending to speak and understand a language in which I had no idea of. We would order drinks in glasses which were trimmed in gold just so we could start a collection of various beer glasses back at the barracks, so finding ways of sneaking them out became a new game for the night. Soon big purses were brought out for the night or pants with large pockets were worn and used as transportation devices.
Now one would think after starting this ritual of drinking and dancing at 4 pm and it being 5 am that we would be ready to collapse and call it a night, or morning, but as the clubs closed we began to devise ways of continuing our camaraderie. So on the ride back to the base we would tally up who had what liquor in their rooms and who had the largest room and where the party would be held. It would be in the largest room. Here we would drink and party until the booze was gone. This ritualbecame a common occurrence;, on shift rotations, and days off you could find any number of people going through the same thing, no one really gave it a second thought or glance or considered it odd or unusual behavior. Were we alcoholics and being abusive? We did not think so; no one had ever addressed it or brought it to our attention. We always made it to work, to formation and our duties were always performed. We just liked to have fun. We were all single, serving our country and had no one else to account for or to answer to(at least not yet). What harm were we doing?
Even though he had become my work supervisor SGT Air-force and I had continued to steal moments together when we could. I thoroughly enjoyed his company and to my knowledge he did mine as well. I had a neighbor in the barracks who I had befriended as she was from my home state of Ohio. It always gave people a bond when they found someone who was from “back home.” It did not matter if you were from hundreds of miles away in the same state you were still from “back home” and you immediately bonded. She and I had become close upon my arrival in December of '87 and our friendship continued to grow even though we ended up on different shifts. We did occasionally end up with a day or two off together and used it to our full advantage which usually meant shopping then going out and hitting the clubs. She liked to go to the club on base most of the time as she had a crush on one of the bartenders there. His name was Manny. He was a German who has been cleared to work on the base and had been given a work permit and had been there about 6-7 years. His English was very well as he had picked up bar talk and learned to converse with his customers.
On one of our weekends at the club my friend from Ohio wanted me to ask Manny out for her. She had this illusion that he had been giving me the “eye” and that was a sign that he would be more accommodating to tell me yes for her. I did not agree with her reasoning, but after a few fuzzy navels with vodka I was in no position to argue or to disagree with her. I am sure I would have been in agreement with nearly anything at that moment.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Chapter 1( cont)
Work was pretty much the standard for a while, with training in the beginning and getting used to the schedule. It was a rotating shift of 6 on and 2 off alternating between days, swings and mids. Someone had to be on duty around the clock, but with four shifts manning the building it was not a problem. I was assigned to a sub unit that was simply known as TACO. Funny how there were all kind of Mexican names now that I look back at it. We had Sancho and Enchilado also. My trainer was an Air Force E-5 and there were a few other people in my department as well. I was the only Army at that time. That was the thing about our base; it was a conglomeration of the different branches. While it was a DOD base which was ran by NSA, there were Navy, Air Force and Army serving there. For the most part all seemed to get along well, with no real problems between them or the civilian contractors who were assigned there. It was smooth running and as I had stated before pretty much a dream assignment. My training lasted for a couple of months since there were different subsections to learn and things were not to be taken lightly. Work was a good way for me to keep my mind off “him”, but as soon as work was over he seemed to find his way back into my thoughts, so I seemed to find my way into the club on the walk home to my barracks.
The club was a popular place for service men and women stationed on the base. It was a small base with not much to do, so drinking, pool, darts, and the two or three slot machines seemed to draw a lot of attention. Friday and Saturday nights were the highlights of the week. A DJ would come in and the place would be packed; standing room only, with people dancing, drinking, flirting and of course staggering back out the door. I was no exception to any of the above.
As work progressed people were moved around and we got new people in our section, our main supervisor was PCS’d and my trainer was moved up and someone else was brought in. Imagine my surprise when it was the Air Force SGT who had slid through my gate earlier in the year when I was working with the MP’s. How quickly “he” had slipped from my mind, I now began thinking of this Air Force SGT; ‘he was really cute’, but I had to concentrate on my work, plus he was and NCO and I was still only an E-3. The Army makes it perfectly clear that they will not tolerate fraternization between an NCO and non NCO under any circumstances. What was I thinking? I had to concentrate, I was a professional and I took great pride in being so.
As the weeks went by I began to grow comfortable in my new work environment and with those I worked with. We began having activities after work and on our days off and I began to participate. We began to throw darts and bowl, and even though I was not the best at either, I did enjoy them both. While bowling, I began to grow a bit closer to SGT Air Force, but because of the Army’s rule of fraternization I was afraid to let anyone know so we had agreed to keep our seeing each other a bit of a secret. He lived off base and I in the barracks, so he would come see me after work and on nights that we both had off. At work we kept it casual and as far as I know, no one ever knew. Things worked well, as he was not the controlling type and understood if I went out with friends also; which seemed to be a fairly common occurrence.
The club was a popular place for service men and women stationed on the base. It was a small base with not much to do, so drinking, pool, darts, and the two or three slot machines seemed to draw a lot of attention. Friday and Saturday nights were the highlights of the week. A DJ would come in and the place would be packed; standing room only, with people dancing, drinking, flirting and of course staggering back out the door. I was no exception to any of the above.
As work progressed people were moved around and we got new people in our section, our main supervisor was PCS’d and my trainer was moved up and someone else was brought in. Imagine my surprise when it was the Air Force SGT who had slid through my gate earlier in the year when I was working with the MP’s. How quickly “he” had slipped from my mind, I now began thinking of this Air Force SGT; ‘he was really cute’, but I had to concentrate on my work, plus he was and NCO and I was still only an E-3. The Army makes it perfectly clear that they will not tolerate fraternization between an NCO and non NCO under any circumstances. What was I thinking? I had to concentrate, I was a professional and I took great pride in being so.
As the weeks went by I began to grow comfortable in my new work environment and with those I worked with. We began having activities after work and on our days off and I began to participate. We began to throw darts and bowl, and even though I was not the best at either, I did enjoy them both. While bowling, I began to grow a bit closer to SGT Air Force, but because of the Army’s rule of fraternization I was afraid to let anyone know so we had agreed to keep our seeing each other a bit of a secret. He lived off base and I in the barracks, so he would come see me after work and on nights that we both had off. At work we kept it casual and as far as I know, no one ever knew. Things worked well, as he was not the controlling type and understood if I went out with friends also; which seemed to be a fairly common occurrence.
Chapter 1
I never imagined myself a mom. I had my life mapped out for me. For as long as I could remember I had wanted to be an attorney so doing so while having a career in the Army seemed like the best way to achieve that goal. Life had other plans for me though. As anyone who has served can tell you, you get a bit carried away at times with friends, your freedom and things sometimes take a turn from the planned course; or at least they did for me. A baby was never in my life plan, or if it was it was surely not while I was single and at the age of 20.
I was living a carefree life, and thought I had it all. I had a good job with the Army, an assignment that most dreamed of. My base was located in the foothills of the Bavarian Alps in the most beautiful of settings. I had arrived in Utopia, with not a care in the word; no responsibilities, no one to answer to; what more could a single 19 year old female ask for? Not long after arriving I met someone and fell “in love.” He was different than guys I had dated in the past; mainly because I had not dated a lot in my past, but also because he was sincere, caring, compassionate, and put my needs above his. We dated for a while and I got scared. I began pushing away and never gave reason. I knew my family would not approve of him, but I had not matured enough to tell him the truth. I was good at pushing and running, I had done it my whole life; after all that is how I ended up in the Army in the first place. I ran to escape the small town I called home, the family I left behind, and college that I could not afford. He and I parted and went separate ways, he took a TDY to Texas and I stayed in Germany dealing with what I had done. There was not a day that went by that his face did not pop into my mind, my dreams or my thoughts. I could not go anywhere without seeing him so I began going out more than before and trying to “drink” his memory away.
When first arriving in Germany I had to wait on my paperwork to catch up with me before I was able to go inside of OPS to work, so I had the pleasure of working with the MP’s. It was an experience like no other, but I was anxious to do the job I had trained a year to do: the job on the “inside”. Finally everything was in order and I was able to go “in.” There were four shifts on the inside and I would be assigned to Bravo. From what I knew of the people on Bravo they were a good group, I had met many of them while working with the MP’s so there would be some familiar faces. One I was looking forward to seeing was the Air Force guy who came sliding through the gate while I was on duty one evening.
I was living a carefree life, and thought I had it all. I had a good job with the Army, an assignment that most dreamed of. My base was located in the foothills of the Bavarian Alps in the most beautiful of settings. I had arrived in Utopia, with not a care in the word; no responsibilities, no one to answer to; what more could a single 19 year old female ask for? Not long after arriving I met someone and fell “in love.” He was different than guys I had dated in the past; mainly because I had not dated a lot in my past, but also because he was sincere, caring, compassionate, and put my needs above his. We dated for a while and I got scared. I began pushing away and never gave reason. I knew my family would not approve of him, but I had not matured enough to tell him the truth. I was good at pushing and running, I had done it my whole life; after all that is how I ended up in the Army in the first place. I ran to escape the small town I called home, the family I left behind, and college that I could not afford. He and I parted and went separate ways, he took a TDY to Texas and I stayed in Germany dealing with what I had done. There was not a day that went by that his face did not pop into my mind, my dreams or my thoughts. I could not go anywhere without seeing him so I began going out more than before and trying to “drink” his memory away.
When first arriving in Germany I had to wait on my paperwork to catch up with me before I was able to go inside of OPS to work, so I had the pleasure of working with the MP’s. It was an experience like no other, but I was anxious to do the job I had trained a year to do: the job on the “inside”. Finally everything was in order and I was able to go “in.” There were four shifts on the inside and I would be assigned to Bravo. From what I knew of the people on Bravo they were a good group, I had met many of them while working with the MP’s so there would be some familiar faces. One I was looking forward to seeing was the Air Force guy who came sliding through the gate while I was on duty one evening.
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